Guess I fucked up…

I completely flaked on this endeavor just as I feared I would. It’s been two months and nothing from me .. hardly even a tweet. I’m sorry for breaking faith with myself and my intentions.

Not sure where to go from here but I do have to physically step away from here in a moment so in short all I can say is that I will give serious thought about what’s next for All She Said.

Advertisements

Failure is not an option

I knew this would happen. It always happens to me. I get a good idea, feel great about it for a week and then lose momentum. Sometimes I last longer maybe a month or two but I clearly do not thrive in an unstructured environment, where I set the rules. The latest example, I have not posted on this site for a week and I had every intention of posting with far greater regularity. I feel like a failure and that feeling alone can keep me on the sidelines. But it’s a new year and I owe it to myself to overcome the lesser parts of my nature and attempt to keep this thing alive. After all, how can it be “all she said” if I haven’t said all that I want to say.

a73667db9132e088d9c59340aa7f4e3a
Source: The Heaving Surface

I thought about posting dozens of times this past week, ideas about fitness, motivation, food, humor etc. all came to mind and yet when the time came I could not get myself to sit down and write. Granted, I have a job and responsibilities outside of it that keep me busy but I could have made the time. That’s the key, it’s making the time. Time does not change, it’s there in it’s finite quantities every day. All you can do is structure yourself and your life to make the most of each hour/minute/second. Sometimes that means sitting on the couch, snuggled up to watch a movie (or right now Making a Murderer ..OMG it’s so fascinating, I haven’t finished yet but I really want to so I can start reading all the new information about it) or it can be the hours I spend at the gym each week. Each bring value just like writing in this blog does. I just have to make the time to do it.

What makes sitting down to write difficult is that a) I write best when I’m at my computer (so not on my couch = less comfy) and it’s set up in another room away from my family and b) no one is over my shoulder motivating me to keep going. It’s that second part that really gets me … finding the motivation to step away from my furry kids, my husband and every other distraction to come write. It feels a mix of selfish, satisfying but also lonely that I’m not sure I can handle. Maybe I am not cut out for the blogger life?

Conversely though I do have a self-motivated and sustained hobby that has been a passion for years now; cooking. I love it! I willingly spend hours in the kitchen at times but I don’t feel as guilty about that as I do about writing. First off, our kitchen is central to the home so I’m not tucked away from the world as I am in my office and second, the product is shared and enjoyed socially. I could never imagine my life without it and I want to feel that way about writing too.

Perhaps one of the reasons I remain so motivated and driven about cooking is that I have to eat to live. And if I enjoy eating great food then why not make it myself and double the enjoyment. I think that is the key … I need to find a way to make writing an essential part of my experience so that a day or a week without it feels empty. Then making the time would be easy and the guilt would disappear.

I think the first step in making it essential is to make it mandatory, like brushing my teeth and washing face. Those are things that start out mandatory as kids but become habitual  and you definitely feel it when you don’t do it. So I am making a mandate because I do not want to fail at this … I will blog 4 times this week. Hopefully hitting on some of my favorite topics that readers (if I have them) will enjoy more than my introspective musings (like this post). Look for posts on food, style, motivation and friendship this week.

Until next time, which there will be, that is all she said.

7e88063734848a9f1f1168b47d8007ee
Source: Addicted 2 Success

 

Sports Fan

Forgot to mention this but I love sports, my hubs loves sports and we make a concerted effort to watch all we can. I am of the opinion that fandom should not be gendered (aka courting female fans… We like sports for the same reasons as men thank you very much). Just make gear that looks good on my frame 🙂 

So as we enter a new year and playoff season, I will post and tweet about all my Boston sports teams, especially my beloved New England Patriots. I know some people hate them but I love them … excellence incites envy. Deal with it 🙂 

I also love my college teams and right now it’s all about Gonzaga Basketball. I’ll be cheering them on tonight with fellow Zags at O’Briens on Wilshire. Go Zags!
 

Phenomenal, Magical, Adventurous, Creative, Smart Cookie

Shorty in the house

This will be a short post and the first written from my desk at home at instead of work, hence the title.

Here are some goals/aspirations/ideas for the purpose and direction of this blog … Disclaimer: I may or may not disregard any or all of these at a later date and time.

-Food that I want to share … I’ve realized over the last few years that while I love to cook others view it as a mysterious art so I would like to add my voice to mix and help demystify cooking.

-LA thoughts … for serious yo, this city inspires, angers and amuses me on a regular basis. I will love sharing short lists, reviews and whatever I can about this place as a way to remember it forever.

-Fashion/Beauty … superficial maybe but we all gotta look good, whatever that means to us. I am always on a quest to find my style and perfect the right look for me. Perhaps writing about it will help me figure that out.

-Relationships/the big life stuff … I have a voice and opinion as valid as any Huffpost, Elite Daily, Thought Catalog or other site writer about life, love and relationships. I want to share what I’ve learned and continue to find out from my 7+ year relationship and the lessons on friendship and love that moving can teach you.

-Photos … yes I have Instagram for that but it never hurts to share them again. I love getting good pictures but I always aim for great ones.

For tonight, that’s all she said.

 

Learning to Shine

So this is it … in an effort to stave off boredom at work, I’ve started a blog. Is it 2006 or 2016 right now? Regardless, here I am, blogging instead of tumbling, tweeting, snapchatting and instragramming (though I do that too). Sometimes long format is the only way to think.

Thinking back to what my 2006 self would have done on a blog seems a good way to figure out why I’m here now.

Ten years ago, I would have written about the insecurities of an 18-year-old college freshman starting second semester and rushing (then pledging) a sorority. Pages on pages about friendships starting and ending, discovering parties, drinking and life in a big metro area, first crushes, dates and everything else. Looking back at the photos and posts from that time (thanks for the memories, Facebook) I see myself and think that  I really should have figured out this whole makeup thing sooner … ditto on the hair. Why don’t I talk to the people I knew then … were we really friends? Do I still want to be their friend or do I just want to feel connected to college? Should I have done it differently? Did I like myself or know enough to act differently?

I spent my middle and high school years feeling that I was another brilliant but misunderstood teen who didn’t belong but would find my place. I thought that college would be my place, the ideal setting to find myself and live the perfect movie/TV version of life. With friends that totally get you and finding that niche in the world where you are perfectly equipped for life.

Advice for me back then (and now) … You are not the wall flower, loner type … and never were, and that was not the life you wanted or needed. Stop trying to make it your thing. You like art and reading good books but you are not the art house or coffee house poet type … You am a Leo who likes parties, conversations after midnight, exploring the world, physical challenges, showing off (humbly) and being well-regarded. You want life to notice you instead of living your life only noticing others. You want to shine and work hard and shine some more because of how hard you worked.  Do, however, continue to be kind and caring, let your friends shine, listen to their problems, try to be humble and keep working hard (it will all pay off).

Flash forward to 2016 where instead of a teenage girl’s musings on college and the big scary world beyond, you will get the musings of a 28-year-old, current Los Angeles resident, Leo, mom of three furry kids and wife of one inspiring guy, who is also a food lover who loves to cook (there is a difference) and a CrossFitter. I have a job too (or is it now a career?) and I’m sure I’ll talk about that at some point but I need to learn to define my life by who I AM and not just what I DO. I’ll just say that on the best days, my job challenges and engages me completely and on the dull days, I apparently blog.

Til next time, that’s all she said.