I knew this would happen. It always happens to me. I get a good idea, feel great about it for a week and then lose momentum. Sometimes I last longer maybe a month or two but I clearly do not thrive in an unstructured environment, where I set the rules. The latest example, I have not posted on this site for a week and I had every intention of posting with far greater regularity. I feel like a failure and that feeling alone can keep me on the sidelines. But it’s a new year and I owe it to myself to overcome the lesser parts of my nature and attempt to keep this thing alive. After all, how can it be “all she said” if I haven’t said all that I want to say.
I thought about posting dozens of times this past week, ideas about fitness, motivation, food, humor etc. all came to mind and yet when the time came I could not get myself to sit down and write. Granted, I have a job and responsibilities outside of it that keep me busy but I could have made the time. That’s the key, it’s making the time. Time does not change, it’s there in it’s finite quantities every day. All you can do is structure yourself and your life to make the most of each hour/minute/second. Sometimes that means sitting on the couch, snuggled up to watch a movie (or right now Making a Murderer ..OMG it’s so fascinating, I haven’t finished yet but I really want to so I can start reading all the new information about it) or it can be the hours I spend at the gym each week. Each bring value just like writing in this blog does. I just have to make the time to do it.
What makes sitting down to write difficult is that a) I write best when I’m at my computer (so not on my couch = less comfy) and it’s set up in another room away from my family and b) no one is over my shoulder motivating me to keep going. It’s that second part that really gets me … finding the motivation to step away from my furry kids, my husband and every other distraction to come write. It feels a mix of selfish, satisfying but also lonely that I’m not sure I can handle. Maybe I am not cut out for the blogger life?
Conversely though I do have a self-motivated and sustained hobby that has been a passion for years now; cooking. I love it! I willingly spend hours in the kitchen at times but I don’t feel as guilty about that as I do about writing. First off, our kitchen is central to the home so I’m not tucked away from the world as I am in my office and second, the product is shared and enjoyed socially. I could never imagine my life without it and I want to feel that way about writing too.
Perhaps one of the reasons I remain so motivated and driven about cooking is that I have to eat to live. And if I enjoy eating great food then why not make it myself and double the enjoyment. I think that is the key … I need to find a way to make writing an essential part of my experience so that a day or a week without it feels empty. Then making the time would be easy and the guilt would disappear.
I think the first step in making it essential is to make it mandatory, like brushing my teeth and washing face. Those are things that start out mandatory as kids but become habitual and you definitely feel it when you don’t do it. So I am making a mandate because I do not want to fail at this … I will blog 4 times this week. Hopefully hitting on some of my favorite topics that readers (if I have them) will enjoy more than my introspective musings (like this post). Look for posts on food, style, motivation and friendship this week.
Until next time, which there will be, that is all she said.