Learning to Shine

So this is it … in an effort to stave off boredom at work, I’ve started a blog. Is it 2006 or 2016 right now? Regardless, here I am, blogging instead of tumbling, tweeting, snapchatting and instragramming (though I do that too). Sometimes long format is the only way to think.

Thinking back to what my 2006 self would have done on a blog seems a good way to figure out why I’m here now.

Ten years ago, I would have written about the insecurities of an 18-year-old college freshman starting second semester and rushing (then pledging) a sorority. Pages on pages about friendships starting and ending, discovering parties, drinking and life in a big metro area, first crushes, dates and everything else. Looking back at the photos and posts from that time (thanks for the memories, Facebook) I see myself and think that  I really should have figured out this whole makeup thing sooner … ditto on the hair. Why don’t I talk to the people I knew then … were we really friends? Do I still want to be their friend or do I just want to feel connected to college? Should I have done it differently? Did I like myself or know enough to act differently?

I spent my middle and high school years feeling that I was another brilliant but misunderstood teen who didn’t belong but would find my place. I thought that college would be my place, the ideal setting to find myself and live the perfect movie/TV version of life. With friends that totally get you and finding that niche in the world where you are perfectly equipped for life.

Advice for me back then (and now) … You are not the wall flower, loner type … and never were, and that was not the life you wanted or needed. Stop trying to make it your thing. You like art and reading good books but you are not the art house or coffee house poet type … You am a Leo who likes parties, conversations after midnight, exploring the world, physical challenges, showing off (humbly) and being well-regarded. You want life to notice you instead of living your life only noticing others. You want to shine and work hard and shine some more because of how hard you worked.  Do, however, continue to be kind and caring, let your friends shine, listen to their problems, try to be humble and keep working hard (it will all pay off).

Flash forward to 2016 where instead of a teenage girl’s musings on college and the big scary world beyond, you will get the musings of a 28-year-old, current Los Angeles resident, Leo, mom of three furry kids and wife of one inspiring guy, who is also a food lover who loves to cook (there is a difference) and a CrossFitter. I have a job too (or is it now a career?) and I’m sure I’ll talk about that at some point but I need to learn to define my life by who I AM and not just what I DO. I’ll just say that on the best days, my job challenges and engages me completely and on the dull days, I apparently blog.

Til next time, that’s all she said.

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